Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Es tu Jorge?

Headline Today: Bush hopes Cheney's Mideast visit will rein in oil prices

OK Jorge, what's happening? Lemme spell it out for you since you and your army of supposed smart guy advisors can't grasp a simple concept.

For the past 8 years the loonie left has been accusing you of manipulating oil prices. You are from Texas and therefore in bed with B-I-G O-I-L. Cheney is from Wyoming, soon to be the new Dubai and therefore he is in bed with them too. Oil is at $108 because you are manipulating prices to make your buddies rich.

So how do you dispel this myth? By sending Cheney to the Mideast to try and manipulate oil prices.
Man you are dumber than I thought.

Why can't you or any politician just be honest for once? Have a press conference or even better a national televised speech that goes something like this:

My fellow Americans, oil is at $108. Gas is approaching $4. Here are the reasons:

1. You are greedy asswipes that are living way beyond your means. In order to do so you are borrowing a shitload of money from China and Europe. This is causing the dollar to collapse and oil, which is priced in dollars is surging as a result. Stop living beyond your means and this problem will self correct.

2. You like driving big, inefficient SUVs. I'm talking to you Ms. Soccer mom driving an 11 MPG Escalade to the grocery store. And I'm talking to you Mr. wannabe tough guy white collar employee driving an F-150 to the suburban office complex every morning at 15 MPH. Buy a god damned Corolla and watch as your gas bill is cut in half.

3. You live too far away from work. If you choose to live 45 miles from work so you can have the 5 bedroom, 5 bathroom 4000 sq ft McMansion, don't bitch about the cost of gas. Get a 2000 sq ft home 10 miles from work and watch as you gas bill is cut in half.

4. Shut the fuck up already. The government is not here to keep oil prices down or keep interest rates down or make sure you idiots who bought a $700K house on a $50K salary get to keep it. Now stop acting like whiny little bitches and start solving your own damned problems for once without looking to DC every time life throws you a curve ball.

2 comments:

Ed said...

Elected leaders are simply a mirror of the society which elected them. Our society is sick and getting sicker by the day.

Anonymous said...

The price of oil has NO direct bearing on the price of gas, in the mid-west long before oil hit $100/barrel it was up to $3 a gallon.
Many refineries are running at/near 100%, to lower the cost/be more safe etc... build more refineries.

But that will NEVER happen,labor costs environmental protests/lobby and oil profits.
Some people STILL heat with oil,ban that!
Go propane or nuke.
Oh! wait can't have nuke power any more!

So? when all the hybrids rust out and need to go, where will we recycle the batteries?