It would go something like this

OBL: I want to kill every Jew in the world, convert Europe and America to Islam. You asked us to the negotiating table and that is our opening bid.

Obama: Well I don't believe we can do that. I'll have to ask my manager but I think I can work with you. How about this: you only kill 1/3 of Jews, convert England and France, since they're halfway there to begin with and say New England. In exchange no more 9/11s and you promise to stop trying to get the bomb.

OBL: You drive a hard bargain Barry but I can't do that. Best I can offer is I kill 1/2 the Jews, I get England, France, Holland and Spain. You can have New England, but I want California, Arizona and Texas. Plus I still get to work on a nuke for 5 years, if I don't get it by then, I stop. That's really my final offer and I can't go any higher

Obama: 45% of Jews. S. California, East Texas, England, France, Spain and you get 2 more years on the nukes. Final, final offer, I'm already losing money on this deal and cannot go ant lower.

OBL:Deal.