Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The lost tapes...circa 9/22/08

Bush: Hank, we need this bailout ASAP.No fucking way I'm going down in history as Hoover 2. I don't care if I bankrupt the country, this bailout is getting done.

Paulson: I know but the Democrats won't let me have everything I need. And the rubes are starting to ask questions themselves. Might not be as stupid as we thought they were. Damn internet and those blogs.

Bush: OK you have to give them something.

Paulson: They're talking about limiting executive pay.

Bush: Sounds like a fair thing, given that taxpayer money is used, CEOs shouldn't be making $50M a year

Paulson: Fuck that. What do you think my next job is going to be? Whatever this final monstrosity of a bailout will be, will mean trillions of free money for Wall St. And as a former and future CEO of a Wall St firm, I'm getting mine.

Bush: Yeah good point. Well still, look at the big picture. You now own millions of shares of Goldman Sachs. This bailout will mean a profit of hundreds of millions for you. Not a bad deal really. Just give them this and add in some language about what an "executive"is. Then when you go back to Goldman Sachs, your title can be janitorial consultant and pay yourself $50M a year.

Paulson: Brilliant as usual George. Let me call Harry Reid and see if he wants anything in this as well.

Bush: And don't forget Ben Bernanke and Alan Greenspan. Without those crazy mo-fos none of this would have happened. And as with all things Bush Adminisration, instead of firing incompetent people, we reward them with fame and fortune.

Paulson: Oh don't worry about them. They have been more than well compensated.

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