Sunday, October 12, 2008

Hey brother can you spare some W-2 income?

If I have learned anything from Obama and McCain over the past couple of weeks is that working hard, playing by the rules, paying taxes and being a decent citizen is for idiots. Being a deadbeat asshole who breaks all the rules, does nothing, contributes nothing and is a general parasite of society is the way to go.

Out of curiosity I looked up the 411 on unemployment insurance. Not a bad deal, not a bad deal at all. You can get up to 52 weeks of it and the max is $333 a week. $17,316 a year of tax free income. Only catch though is you have to have had W2 income for a certain period of time. Unfortunately I don't and so can't qualify since my income is all non-W2.

But with Christmas (wait can I still say the C word now that Obama is in power)? The non-denominational, non religious, non-celebratory, winter day that is on the 25th of December, having nothing to do with anything other than Santa and Candy Canes, is coming up. Stores always hire people to work the Christmas (aww shit there I go again, I'm probably going to jail) rush. So if I work a few hours a week at Macy's get my W2 income, I reckon I have $17K of gubermint money coming in next year.

Add to that some food stamps (about $300 a month). I'd qualify for the EITC (Earned Income Tax Credit) which can be up to $6000 a year). Since I'd be poor, I would get government housing assistance via Section 8 meaning essentially free rent. Since I'd have lots of free time, I could go to the food bank and never pay another grocery bill again. Don't roll your eyes, just yet at that suggestion. I volunteered at a food bank once and they have better food than you might think. So I get the food there and use the $300 a month from food stamps to buy beer and other essentials. Unlike the olden days, food stamps today aren't actual coupons. You get an ATM card that can be used to buy anything in a grocery store. There isn't even the stigma of using public welfare attached anymore. And on on top of all that, utilities and - soon gasoline - is very subsidized for the "poor".

By taking advantage of all the government programs out there, I can have a solidly comfortable middle class existence while waking up at noon every day. The coming onslaught of socialism cannot be stopped. If I can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

you forgot free health care

Plumb Bob said...

And once we've all done this, who's going to support the economy that pays for all of us? Sounds like you're recreating Atlas Shrugged on the cheap. Bravo.

Seriously, shall we all now move to Colorado and then secede from the union? Seems like you could build a pretty good national economy on the Piceance Basin oil shale...

Anonymous said...

Your plan could backfire.

Collecting requires termination through no fault of your own. You might have enough sense that even a temporary employer would decide to keep you on forever. At a wage far less than you are worth.

Poof. No Soup for You.

Anonymous said...

"Going Galt" does NOT mean living off the government. Either you are being facetious or you don't understand Ayn Rand or Atlas Shrugged. If you take the slaveowners money, YOU are the slave. Going Galt involves removing yourself from the Statist bribery. Not becoming part of it.